to be quite frank..

I'm sick of people telling me what I should do. Honestly I could care less if you have "experience" and I appreciate when you give me advice when it's asked for. But otherwise I'm not  going to do what you "think" I should do just because that's your opinion. I have my own thank you. the end.

I'm a mess.

Literally. Like a Hurricane. I hate that I can walk into a room and leave 2 seconds later leaving behind me a huge cluttered mess. I guess that just echoes how my mind looks.

I'm a serious introvert. These past 3 or 4 weeks I have done absolutely nothing but pretty much go to work and sleep and do the bare minimum of school work. I haven't even been to church because "I Haven't felt good" "I woke up late." But mostly it's because I just didn't feel like it.

I feel like 99.9% I am extremely responsible, and I care a lot more than most people about things that they probably don't even notice. Sometimes I just want to be irresponsible and see who cares enough to notice.

I don't even know if this is healthy, but I feel like I HAVE to do this at least 2-3 times a year or else I'll lose my sanity.

But now it's time to get back to the real world. To get back to church. To get back to my relationships. Because if I'm like this for too long I lose myself. & I'm just too good to lose.

thanksgiving :)

Since my family (besides mom, dad and brother) live so far away, Thanksgiving is not really something that my family makes into a huge ordeal. When we're in California (I think it's been 10 whole years since we've actually been there for Thanksgiving) we all gather at Grandma and Grandpa's house for lunch and just spend the day hanging out and doing nothing... here at my house: we typically sit at the table awkwardly for that 20 minutes that it takes to get full and end up going our own ways. Some people may think that's sad.. but for us it's normal.. we love each other in our own way and Thanksgiving for the Zamora family is just a day where we get to relax and be who we are without any limitations. 

Although this year it's pretty sad because my dad can't be with us since he's up in N.C. and Rich will be somewhere tomorrow.. it's mostly going to be mom and me... doing nothing. I like that idea. I like the idea of just being for one whole day. I don't even know how to sleep in anymore. & in the late afternoon I get to go spend the rest of the evening with awesome friends.

I am so thankful for my family and the journey that God has brought us through. I am so blessed beyond words. I am blessed by the friendships and relationships that God has brought to me in this past year and the relationships that he lets me keep and the ones that flourish as the years go by. I am thankful for amazing jobs that allow me to be an example of Christ's love for us while getting to hang out and play with some pretty cool kids all day. I am so blessed by a church and church family that I have at Epoch. There are just no words to express how blessed I am and how thankful to my Creator, my Lord and my Savior. I'm so excited to see what is to come in the next year. Happy Thanksgiving! Gobble gobble.

Goals for November/December.

I'm really really really awful about setting goals for myself, and never meeting them. Although this year I am actually taking Spanish lessons to speak fluently for when I go to Mexico and talk to all the cute boys and help lead them to Christ ;) so that's a start!

My goal for the end of this year is to make attainable goals and complete them! So here we go!

1. finish my Apologetics Class strong (I need an A!)
2. lose 5 lbs... honestly this isn't that hard (Just sayin')
3. Spend more time outside (especially with Vayden, it's not good being cooped up in the house all the time, and there's a park right around the corner)
4. Save an entire week's paycheck for missions! (This'll probably be the hardest for me!)
5. Keep my room clean for the entire month of December (I'm so messy!)


and there it is, there's no way that I can't attain every one of these goals

my mom.

Let me tell you about my momma, there is no one quite like her.

She makes me feel better on my roughest days.

Makes me laugh at the silliest things.

Makes faces at me when I'm being a little outrageous.

Makes sarcastic comments at everything I say.

Has the sweetest spirit and the quietest manner.

Is the strongest lady I've ever met.

& she gets better and better as I get older.

I am so incredibly thankful that the Lord has blessed me with such an amazing woman as my mom, I couldn't ever imagine a day without her. <3 Love you mom!

roots.

For SHE will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by the stream and will not fear when heat comes, for it’s leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit -Jeremiah 17:8 NASB

When I read this verse I think of a huge, ancient Oak Tree with knotted roots deep in the ground providing shelter from the smoldering sun, and the pouring down rain. I see a thick trunk with dozens and dozens of branches bursting at the seams with green leaves providing shade with its bounty. I think of children enjoying the company of the tree as they play hide and seek with their friends and climb up its branches. I think of stability. The oak tree knows its place. He knows what he needs to thrive on in his environment.

I LOVE THIS VERSE. It tells of how I could be. (how we all could be) It tells of how I should be. (how we all should be. Just knowing this is possible blows my mind! I love my Savior!


I've always had a broken heart for people who start out in the faith over zealous only to lose steam because the hype was up, they got sick of playing a part or they just weren't feeling that excitement anymore. I call this passion without roots. I've seen so many people get burnt out (myself included) and just decide to go back to who they were before they knew Christ.

My question is... did they ever truly know who Christ is? Because I have a theory (not really a theory because it's backed up with scripture numerous times.. but I'm not being a theologian at the moment so I will save that for later) if you ever truly feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, it's never going to leave you. It only takes one touch and your life is forever changed, you're never the same EVER AGAIN! That's how mighty my Savior is! When did Christianity become the cool thing to do? When did a relationship with the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE become a fad only to be discarded when the next one comes along?

Christians we need to start digging out roots deep into who Jesus Christ really is. We will never get burnt out if we know the truth. If our roots are strong, we allow God to be who He really is and it is apparent in our lives... just like that big oak tree in a middle of a park. We then provide hope for the hopeless, we live a life of love and portray who God in the best possible way, for who He is! It no longer becomes a fad, but people begin to hear the truth and experience what it really feels like to have a relationship with our Savior and what it feels like to really know Him. I'm sick of this passion without roots thing, if I was doing half of my job... more of my "christian" friends wouldn't hop on and then hop right off this "bandwagon". It's time to bear fruit.

worn out.

I am just plain worn out, why? Because I've been neglecting one of the most important things in my life, nurturing my spirit. 


I haven't been reading my bible. I haven't been allowing God to fill my cup once it runs empty. My attitude stinks. & I haven't been loving God the way that I was made to, not even the way that I want to. I find excuses not to go to church. I let little things get to me & all I want to do is lay in bed all day and do nothing.


I just want to slap myself. What is wrong with me? I should be preparing for my future and living up to the calling that God has for me. I have to keep reminding myself that He is going to supply all that I need and I definitely can't do this on my own. If I'm not going to allow Him to work in my life, how in the world is He going to allow me to go and be a vessel for His glory in other peoples' lives?


I'm so great at pushing people away and pushing until they're no longer around by just not being available. But I'm asking please don't give up on me. Don't leave me alone. I need people in my life who are going to make an effort and be relational with me. I need people who are going to break walls down to get to me. But mostly I just need to let my Savior wrap me in His arms and nurture me. I need to sit at His feet and listen to all that He has for me. I need to be intentional with spending time with Him. I need to be who He's called me to be.


EPH 4:1-2
 ¹ As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. ² Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Belize :)

In my 7th grade Geography class (Mr.Altee’s) we had to pick a country to do a report on… I had no idea which I wanted to choose so I just picked up the book with the prettiest cover on it, and you guessed it.. it was Belize. I had never even heard of this place but I figured, hey this looks okay. I don’t even remember what I said in my report, but I do remember saying to myself.. “One day I will go to Belize.” Although this may seem a little juvenile but I really do believe that this is when God began stirring up something in my heart for this country.

 Leading up to my 10th grade summer my youth pastor at the time at Celebration made an announcement about an upcoming missions trip. I had never even thought about leaving the United States without my parents, especially not on a missions trip. But once I heard that the trip destination was Belize, my heart started beating fast… I couldn’t believe it, I was definitely not going to miss this opportunity. I even roped my best friend Lizzie to go with me. Although it was pretty rough being patient for the money to come in, and there were a ton of mishaps and frustrations on the way... the money was in on time and my ticket was purchased to go to Belize. I couldn’t believe that after almost 4 years, one of dreams was coming true.. That summer I boarded a train to go out of the country with a group of teens and two crazy youth pastors, I was only 16. 

 That trip rocked my world. It threw me through a completely different culture and atmosphere. I fell in love. One night at the church that we were working with in San Ignacio you could feel the Holy Spirit so thick that you could almost touch it, that was the first time that I’ve ever felt something so strong before. That’s when I knew that God was doing something huge. The people were literally on their face worshiping their Savior without any inhibitions, without embarrassment… I wanted that. Their culture was beautiful and the land, absolutely gorgeous. God broke me down and filled me back up until I was so full that I was about to bust. He worked on my heart so much in just one week and He gave me peace for so many things that I am still free of today. When it was time to head back, I was so sad.. I didn’t want to leave.

 I was so young when I experienced Belize for the first time.. Most people go on their first trip, don’t want to leave but end up getting over it when their daily lives start overwhelming their thoughts. I even thought that I would never go back.. but it has always been constantly on my mind.

 I thought I knew what I was going to do with my life.. becoming a teacher, but I didn’t follow through. I never follow through with anything, because I lose passion. I’ve attended two different universities and I still don’t know what to declare my major as. I lose passion so quickly in everything that I set my mind to. The only two things that I have never lost passion for is Jesus Christ and the thought that I would one day return to Belize.

 This past August (as most of you know) I had the opportunity to travel to Mexico with my church, Epoch and OMI Mexico. & As you probably know, my life was changed. In the months preparing to travel to Mexico, God began to work. He began connecting me with people who have a similar vision to mine. He gave me friendships with Raf and Flor and I told Raf about my idea to go through DCS with YWAM Belize. He then told me that he had connections in Belize and that he was planning a trip sometime in the near future. I told him I was all aboard! Although YWAM is a fantastic missions organization, I don’t feel like God wants me to take that route. Right before leaving for Mexico Raf informed me that I would be able to spend one ENTIRE MONTH in Belize next year working with OMI. I was ecstatic, and couldn’t believe it, still can’t! I also have to opportunity, God willing to spend a week in Belize THIS JANUARY. I have to raise about $400 to cover my transportation costs and I will be able to travel to Caye Caulker, Belize for a week to meet the people that I will be working with and get a feel as to what their physical and spiritual needs are.

 This next year I will be embarking on a once in a lifetime journey. Although this week long and  month long Belize trips are a “test run” I don’t believe that God is done with me and missions. It has been made clear that my heart for Central America is not an accident. I know that God has called me for such a time as this. I know that this passion that has been welling up in me for almost 10 years now is not an accident by any means. I have begun my training with OMI Mexico and I’m incredibly excited to see what God does in Belize and what opportunities will come after.

 Another exciting thing is that I will not only be able to travel to Belize, but directly after I will be going to Mexico for a 1-2 week stint. I know that God is going to do amazing things and that if I just follow His lead, He will take me where I need to go.

 Most of you know that I am not very wealthy. Therefore I need your help. If you would like to talk more to me about this, please ask any questions. I would love to tell you about this journey. If you would like to donate for my trips I will gladly and thankfully accept any monetary donations, prayer and spiritual support. I know that without a doubt, none of this will happen without the support from friends and family! If you're interested in learning about O.M.I. Mexico you can check out our website http://www.omimexico.com

 Thank you so much,

 -Jessie 

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Matt 28:19

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” Isaiah 6:8

“The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.” 1 Thess. 5:24

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4


if you'd like to give in any way you can click the donate button to the right & it'll take you through paypal or you can contact me @ jessie.zamora@ymail.com Thanks so much! :)






-Jessie

Late Have I Loved You

“Too late have I loved you, O Beauty of ancient days, yet ever new! Too late I loved you! And behold, you were within, and I abroad, and there I searched for you; I was deformed, plunging amid those fair forms, which you had made. You were with me, but I was not with you. Things held me far from you—things which, if they were not in you, were not at all. You called, and shouted, and burst my deafness. You flashed and shone, and scattered my blindness. You breathed odors and I drew in breath—and I pant for you. I tasted, and I hunger and thirst. You touched me, and I burned for your peace” (St. Augustine, Confessions)

Every time I read this or hear Gungor's song 'Late Have I Loved You' it touches my heart tremendously. Especially in those seasons (like right now) where I don't feel like I need to be in my relationship with my King, and yet I don't nourish my spiritual needs. Just to know that he CALLS and he SHOUTS bursting through those times when I'm not turning my ear to Him, there are no words.. 

St.Augustine's thoughts are just so real, so deep and so true. This is just a constant reminder that no matter what, God is near. 'And behold, you were within, and I abroad...' It's not God who turns away from us, but us (me) who is on the outside. Once we ask Jesus into our hearts, He is always within us. I love my God!

^7-11"Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better? -Matthew 7:7-11 MSG

⁷ “Ask, and what you are asking for will be given to you. Look, and what you are looking for you will find. Knock, and the door you are knocking on will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7 NLT

pieces.

In my family we tend to keep our business to ourselves. We don’t like a whole lot of drama and like to be nosey on the outside without intruding (haha). We’re observers instead of being right in the middle of things with the attention on us.

Sometimes this is very helpful in life. I’ve learned how to ignore things and take myself out of situations where I am uncomfortable without being missed too much. But as an attempt to grow closer to God I’ve been trying to be more transparent with things going on in my life.

I am a naturally happy person, most stuff just doesn’t bug me and I brush it off my shoulder. Even when I get upset about things I tend to get over them quickly and any harsh word that comes from my mouth is instantly a regret. That’s just how I am.

On my trip to Mexico and Colombia Raf is requiring me to tell my testimony after one of our dramas. Although he is practically forcing me to do this I am extremely pumped to share my story and hopefully help some people understand the love of God and that He has a purpose for each and every single person who will hear my story.

With my testimony came a ton of emotions that I had been bottling up for a while. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in a day as much as I cried this past Sunday. Last Friday while Vayden was taking a nap I sat down and wrote out my testimony.

I don’t have a great relationship with my dad. He doesn’t know how to communicate without yelling and I don’t even know how to have a decent conversation with him. It’s tough living in the same house with him. We’re so much alike yet as opposite as two people could be. I don’t know how to hug him or tell him that I love him and we never talk about how our days went. He doesn’t believe in apologies. My dad is a great man with a ton of humility and strength. He survived a rough childhood and an addiction that could’ve taken his life. He’s generous and funny when he’s in the mood. He’s ridiculous and says some of the most bizarre things. & I love him, more than I’ve ever loved any man in my life. But sometimes that love is just because it’s required. I would love to have an incredible relationship with my dad. I would love to be able to tell him how much I love him and how much I really do appreciate him, I just don’t know how.

This past Sunday my Pastor spoke a great sermon which hit a tough spot in my heart. I was a mess through the rest of the service and cried through the entire last song. It’s been a long while since God has burst a spot in my heart and let me just cry and feel His arms wrapping around me tightly. 

I’m so incredibly excited to experience these two weeks in August. It’s been a long time since I’ve been open to my dreams coming true and this is just the start of it. I’m so excited to see how God is going to use my story, which is still full of hurt and unanswered questions and prayer is going to touch peoples’ lives. I’m excited to see the work that God is going to do on each of my teammates hearts and lives. I’m excited that since I know that He’s already doing work in me now that there is going to be so much more done when we’re down in Mexico & Colombia! Please continue to pray for me and my team <3

love is enough

A long while ago I was listening to the IHOP (International House of Prayer)’s live broadcasts of the prayer room and a young girl about my age was praying with all that she had to the Lord and one phrase stuck with me. She was crying out and telling God that “Love is Enough” that His love was enough.

I have to remind myself daily that He loves me in a way that no one else could ever love me. He wants His love to be enough for me. 

It’s hard to remember that His love is enough when there’s so much busyness and distractions around me. I like to look the other way or keep my head in the clouds. But the love of God is and will always be enough. I always remember this at my weakest moments and it’s enough to bring me to my knees. My Creator made me just the way I was just because He wanted to. He loved me so much that He sent His only son to be tortured just so I could worship other idols, be a hypocrite, say awful things to people, watch things I shouldn’t be watching, say things I shouldn’t be saying, think things I shouldn’t be thinking. Jesus took all of my disrespect upon that cross and I throw punches daily. & Yet He still loves me and that love will never change. Love is Enough.

Love is enough to lay my life down for a Savior. Love is enough to love people with a love that could never come just from me. Love is enough to drop everything that I love and go to another country to spread His fame and not mine. LOVE IS ENOUGH.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deut 31:6

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Cor 13:13

Women Missionaries

Women have been looked down on for decades in the mission field (since the beginning). They aren't held to as high of a standard as the men are and are cast aside and given subpar jobs to take care of.

Missions is a scary world. Just thinking that this could even just minutely be a possibility of my future scared me to death. What would my family say or think? Would I ever be able to raise the support that I would need? Could I shed the things of my life: the sin, the comforts of my overly comfortable life, the relationships? Would I be able to sacrifice it all to carry on this calling that God has had planned for me from the start?

After years and years of trying to rationalize and excuse away the fact that God has placed a huge calling on my life and a heart for missions the excuses and rationalizations were trampled out by the reasons that I should go, and the possibilities that I COULD go. There is and was evidence that I was called to this and encouragement kept on and is still flowing in.

I was researching some women missionaries in the past due to Raf's suggestion. Just reading about these women who were willing to give up everything that they had, and some even giving up their life without second thought gave me such inspiration and realization. If I decide to do this it's not going to be about me. It's not going to be about my glory (because even though we've come a far way.. women missionaries are still the minority). It has to be for HIM. If I don't get ONE thank you, it has to be enough. It has to be all about Him. I am merely serving a purpose to bring Him glory by being a vessel that He can use to draw more people to Him and save lives through Him.

I am so excited and overwhelmed by such a huge calling on my life and how much God trusts me. I am stocked to see what doors He opens next.

Please be praying for me! :) <3

Jobless, stressed, and carefree

So I had to quit my favorite job that I've ever had at World Market. I'm so heartbroken that I can't work at my favorite store ever with the best co-workers and supervisors that a gal could ask for.. why? Because of STUPID Migraines.

I know it sounds super silly, but it's the story of my life. Something (Spices, Wool Rugs, Incense, Cow Hide) was triggering my migraines. What the fuzz!? It's totally not fair..

So here I am, jobless.. I've been to 5 or 6 interviews with no call back, which is okay because I know that as long as I'm doing my part (Applying and interviewing) God's got in all in control. 

So I am focusing on the good and trying to make the most of my time:

Today I

1. Organized our Cabinets/Pantry

2. Went to lunch with my dear friend Erika and my new friend Allison which included: Jacksonville's one and only Angie's Subs (with my new fave "The Dirty Gringo" and to die for sweet tea) and YogaBerry... along with a local surf shop... we also stopped by fscj to help Erika decide what she's going to do if she can't go back to SEU (add her to your prayer list)

3. Being Lazy

4. Arizona Green Tea Arnold Palmer (new fave)

5. Starting to reorganize and move the furniture in my room.

Tomorrow:

1.Interview @ 9am

2. Hangin' with the fabulous Donna Matthews going lookin' for bridesmaid jewelry and shoes.

3. SYNERGY @ Epoch, the ending of our "Angels and Demons" study

4. Bible Study with my fave girls

I'm super stoked about what God's doing in my life and how much He is trusting me to trust Him and to have tons of tons of patience.

Mexico/Colombia funds are due in 33 days, that's $1760 minus the $310 I've raised so far.. if you wanna help support me check out http://youcansend.me/jesszee


 "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Heb 4:16


"Cast all of your cares on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

New Blog

I am a huge fan of TUMBLR but not as many people have those, so I decided to move my blog here. I am extremely excited for what God has planned in this next season of life, and I am posting here to share my heart, my troubles, temptations, breakthroughs and just fun stuff that I like :) So yeah.. let the blogging begin <3